This Almost Makes Me Not Hate Mario [Almost].

As you know, I have this obsession with playing an obscene amount of Mario Kart. As you also might know, I am crazy enough to describe the other characters as if they are real people, and not just lifeless, soulless computers, which they obviously are. In my made believe world, Mario is a total douche bag. The man like to both take it and give it up the ass, and it such an asshole when it comes to driving, him and his idiot brother. So when I read this little comic, it almost made me feel sorry for the guy. What if Luigi was moving in on his [fugly] girl, behind his back, without his consent [because clearly sometimes they like to gang bang the bitch]? It almost makes me feel sorry for him. Then I remembered. He's a douche. Therefore I don't care.